Monday, April 16, 2012

Daddy's Girl

I often write about my mother in my posts.
What she taught me
How much I miss her
The way she cared for me
and how, the woman I am today
is so much the result of what was created in me
by being her daughter.

But, she is but a part
of what has and who have
collaborated
in the making and forming of
me.

Her partner
in all those efforts
Her companion through the years
when she was mothering me,
turns 74 today,
and
I want to celebrate him
now
here
today.

I have often felt (and said)
that I had the best father
a little girl
and
teenager
could ever have.
I was loved
fathered
daddied
and "grown"
by a
strong
tender
loving
devoted
attentive
expressive
affectionate
masculine
good
Man.

He hugged me
held my hand
talked to me
asked about my thoughts
and my feelings.
He took me on dates
defended me
protected me
shielded me
stood up for me
fought for me
listened when I cried
helped with broken hearts
wrote to me in college
called me on the phone
bought me jewelry

and told me
I was beautiful
and that he was proud of me
and that he loved me
and that he liked me
and that he trusted me

He disciplined me when I needed it.
He was strict and steady
He spent time with me
built me a dollhouse
taught me to drive
helped me with the Science Fair in first grade
explained geometry
took me to the store for nail polish for my senior prom
painted my nails for me when I was five
brushed my hair
played Barbies when I asked
took me to the beach
made my brothers pour my milk because the gallon jug was too heavy
opened the car door for my mother
sold me his car for a dollar
and carried me on his shoulders when my legs got tired.

I love my father
my dad
my daddy

I have his shoulders
his frame
his Cherokee skin
his nose
his emotions
I have his temper
and his strength
my hands look like his

and
I believe
about myself
all the things
he told me
about me....
That I am worthy of love
that I should be cherished
and cared for
and taken care of
That I am strong
and capable
but that I need
and should
be
loved.

I cannot remember a time when he
criticized me
or put me down
or failed to support me.

I watched him love my mother
and spend his days off
taking her to lunch
and helping her with the grocery shopping.
I watched him vacuum the floors
and work on the tractor
and rig repairs on our cars
and clean out the garage.
I listened to him preach
and pray
and counsel
and train
and serve communion
and get hurt
and get angry
and lose
so much

and
continue.

I believe about myself
the things he showed me:
that I can be a woman
and still be smart
and confront when I need to
and take a stand
and stick up for myself
I believe, because of him,
that I don't have to be afraid
that I don't have to be weak
or ashamed of anything.
That I can and should
wait
on love,
but be ready TO love
all the time.

Because of him,
I know I can be me.
I can be 100% of ME
and not hold back
or tone down
or hide
or pull away
or change
or conform
or give up
my confidence
my personality
my uniqueness
because it might make someone uncomfortable
or feel threatened
or uneasy.

Because of him,
I am secure
and confident
and prepared.
And, long before a boy
or a man
ever said he loved me
or actually did love me,
I knew.
I knew I was worthy of love.
I knew I was love-able.
I knew I was loved.
I already knew love...

because I was
so
so
so
loved by my dad

and by
my Father.

I know the love of God
because I was loved here
by my Daddy.
He has pointed me to God
time
and
time
again.

He has loved me
the best
the most
and the deepest

and I love him
with all my heart

Always.
Happy Birthday, Daddy
I am thankful
I have had you as a father
and wouldn't want to have been
loved
raised
taught
protected
shielded
or daddied
by anyone else.

I am so grateful
I am
your daughter,

From your Princess,
Becky