Pretty is, as Pretty does.
So does Ugly.
a generous amount
a very sad heap
of Ugliness
lately.
I have been feeling
Ugly.
I have been
feeling
the ugliness
of
others,
the inner
anger
disappointment
sadness
unhappiness
and even
vengeance
of people who
are truly, deeply
without a doubt
riddled with
inner ugliness.
And no,
they are not even being ugly to me.
I am not the target of their ugliness.
I am an observer.
I encounter them
in the lives
of people I love.
I had a wonderful, gracious mother
who, upon hearing me
speak badly of someone else
spout off a sarcastic remark
or belittle another person,
would simply say,
"Rebecca. Don't be ugly."
I'd joke in response and add,
"Uh, Mom. This is the only face I've got.
I'm doing the best I can..."
She'd sigh and shake her head.
Ugly is not a commonly-used word.
It's certainly not a polite term to use
in describing someone.
But
it's there.
They are there.
Women
Men
even some children
who are, for lack of a more delicate word...
ugly.
They are ready to fight,
claim their rights
complain
spout off
attack
mistreat
take another person down
destroy and reject...
because
of
something
going on,
in
their
insides.
We see the world
and react
out of
what is done to us,
in and through
our relationships
our work
our disappointments
our weaknesses
the way we are treated
and
everything else.
It's all based on
what
is
inside
of us.
It's the "Glass Half Empty" Syndrome.
But it's our hearts, not a glass.
It's our past...
our hurts
our previous chapters
our broken this-and-thats
our neglected souls
our abandoned dreams
our
disenchanted realities
unrealized hopes
unmet needs
and
drained expectations,
which siphon
our hearts
and leave us
half
empty.
Which we
allow
to leave us
half empty.
We do have the power,
We are capable of holding on
to what is in our hearts.
We do have something else
that helps us retain,
even increase
what is in our hearts.
We are all equipped with stoppers
corks
and
plugs
to patch the holes,
stop the leaks
and keep our
hearts...
our selves.
Our peace.
Plain and simple.
Straight forward.
Blunt as I can make it...
forgive.
Forgiveness keeps our glass,
our hearts
Half-Full-and-Getting Fuller.
Forgiveness
Letting Go
Moving On
Accepting
Releasing
Loving
Allowing Change
Breathing in, Hope
Choosing Grace
Showing Mercy.
These
are
Beauty.
These are what
bolster my spirit
make me whole
set me free
strengthen my response
tenderize my words
light my countenance
and
manifest as beauty within.
These are the eyes
with which I want to view the world
the people I meet
the friends who disappoint me
those who hurt me
and let me down
or weave themselves into my life,
taking what they want
spewing venom
delivering a cold shoulder
tossing judgements
withholding love
ignoring me or
spreading half-truths,
while
claiming righteousness
vindication
or justice.
I really don't want to be ugly.
I want to be lovely.
Lovely is even better than Beautiful.
Loveliness expresses herself in:
kindness
understanding
patience
compassion
strength
confidence
gentleness
dignity
and
class.
Yes,
Beauty is often only skin deep
and
Ugliness screams from the core of our hearts,
but
Loveliness....
Loveliness
edifies
refreshes
smoothes and softens
harsh encounters with Half-Empty People,
with hurt and broken hearts,
who haven't yet learned to forgive and release
the past
which drains them of their beauty and joy.
Today
and tomorrow,
and hopefully
even when I'm old and wrinkly,
I
won't
be
ugly.
It's really just a choice.
I choose to do what
I need to do
what I must do
what I can do,
to forgive
Now.
So I won't
ever
end up
Ugly.
I simply refuse to be ugly.
I simply refuse to be ugly.
